Where were you while we were getting high?

24-29th January was all about smoking, smoking up, music and talking. Learning experience yet again. Saw the best, was a part of them. Saw enthusiasm, saw technicality winning over feel. Saw the evil creatures (the co-ords!) generally cashing, but who cares if the people they cash on don’t care… anyways packing the shit, overall it was good refined fun after a long time. But the best was that everyone I saw during this period had a smile on his/her face, which was really cool. Everyone seemed to be happy… no no no one sec, there was this bunch of rockers, really good at what they do without a doubt, but faces which had contempt written all over it, call them the bad-attitude-stereotypes. I had this opportunity to talk to a lot of such rockers without identifying myself, till then they we’re the typical I-Play-This-Instrument-Hence-I-am-The-Man. Awesome exhibition of the way our generation rockers behave and frankly speaking, the rocker fraternity wants this exhibition in order to give you a pass to be in the scene. Bullshit, I don’t care if I don’t get the pass. But they were fair and clear with their sounds! Awesome control over whatever they were trying to do.

25th Jan- Did not sleep the night before, so was the case with the previous 3 days and hence I was too tired to do anything, but the enthusiasm kept me going and I did practice for PWC and DB. Got smashed after that hehe and then saw the best jam session ever at the WM solo where a guy was playing sax aakash was playing the keyboards. Boy O’ Boy, wasn’t that trippy. I had my second thoughts regarding smoking up for a while hehe. Anyways, when that was not enough, I had my share of the greener pastures again in a while and then went for practice again :D. This time it was not best practice session of ours. All smashed royally and we played like proper pros with no noise and tight co-ordination some 3 days back but this time it was different. The noise factor came in, the processor was not upto its task and was causing a hell lot of trouble and the own comp had to be finished for the next day.

26th Jan we managed to finish all of this by 7 AM. All of us were thinking of the same thing…”is it too late?” better late than never so all of us were now in a mode where we were tired and hence could not be as tight as we have been. We decided to go to the stage and have fun as usual. But this time it was different, no one was warmed up and all had just got up after crashing and four horsemen and creeping death are the songs that even metallica would think twice before performing live after crashing and that too just for an hour or a couple maybe. Amit helped us with the sound check procedure. That was the exact moment, my conscience again raised the same question “Are you sure this is where you want to be?” just because another bunch of losers from OUR college were boo-ing us. I mean what else do you want. As a result, the number of people in front of the stage decreased considerably. That’s when LED provided the killer punch. Actions do speak louder than words and LED is the last person to believe in this theory but he DID it! Kudos dude! As soon as the Four horsemen Riff was played, I saw a mosh pit of around 20 barging towards the PWC region. I got charged up seeing that and then we played like proper pros. I am saying this pretty confidently now as people down there told me that it was proper even after so much shit there on stage. The stage set up was crazy. Everything was somehow stopping somewhere on stage and we thought LO GAYA! General volume fluctuations and other technical problems. What the heck? Why us again? Four Horsemen and Creeping death were enough to kick the arses of those posers who were boo-ing us off stage. If that was not enough, HI TO ALL THOSE FACES WITH CONTEMPT WRITTEN ALL OVER THEM… PLAY AN OWN COMP AS THRASHY AS FAST AND AS KICK ASS AS OURS!! It’s because of the shitty stage set up, we lost on some valuable bars but does not matter as we had a lot of fun on stage. Cubba was amazing!! Droog/anand as fast and as furious as usual, but mind you, no contempt anywhere, no sign of any such thing. LED was so involved with the crowd and cubba that he forget to play one bar hehe. He was all over the place like Cubba :D the showmen of the band. Talking of mithun, both of us were having fun our way, bass drum fundawise :D. To others it might seem that we were just there to play note to note doing our jobs but hehehe that’s where no one will understand the way we have fun. When we came back all of us were cribbing about the sounds which ultimately led to us giving up hope as we thought that the sound was the same outside also. That’s when Mithun and I started farting about our bass+drum jamming of all the songs. Not any other instrument, just the bass and the drums hehe. What a jolly good time we had those days :D. So after giving up, all of us went to get smashed yet again :D. Poor LED was the WM co-ord and so he could not go :D. We came back to the festival area after sometime and that’s when I was told that we FUCKIN’ BROKE THE JINX!!! All of us were in a state of shock. Nothing seemed real for a while. Everything seemed like fake or made up, because frankly speaking, no one expected to make it that big, and why not, our performance was not as good considering what we heard on stage. It turned out to be the other way round. The sound on stage was cuppax but outside it was kickax! The first one always has its elements of doubt associated with it and we had them. All of it was smothered as soon as I said it’s over, we did it, we did not break any fucking jinx, we had fun and it resulted in something good so just accept the damned thing with all the ease in the world and the exhilaration began!!

Meanwhile, someone was watching us carefully and suggested that our performance was cool but then the ultra careful factor came into the picture and my leg was pulled taking into account the gel and the wristband :D. I could not say anything about the wristband, but for the gel part, I said that I had a bath hehehehehehehe and I escaped. While showing places like the cuppax water tank and the crashed plane, I was cursed a lot as I forgot where they were :P but at the same time, I came to know a lot about the institute geographically and gossipically :D. I might die one day because of my indifference hehe. Came to know how a guy from my college used the cuppax tank area for humping another female :D (a very clever ploy indeed!). Who says that tank is cuppax :P. I understood that I know nothing about the institute at all hehe. Danke schone for the info. Again attended another practice session for the DB part which was another extravagant but humble attempt. We tried our best and had fun also but the feel factor has forbidden us all and all that people look for is technicality :(. Forget it! After this meeting I left for the DB practice with Amit and co. it was too good yet again and Amit, a pro that he is, takes care of all the sound and makes sure that there is nothing apart from what we play in the room. The kind of music we played had the feel good factor and it was not technical, which implied that we had doubts over our performance. After the practice, I smoked up and crashed :D.

27th Jan-Got up for the show, performed there, had fun and obviously did not qualify for the finals as technicality was rated higher than feel. But overall, the standard was too good as far as the technical aspect goes, but at the same time, it was sad as there was nothing thrashy about the music they played and nothing called feel in their music. I got bored and went back played some quake after a long time hehe cashed to max and then got enthu to go for the French jazz band which turned up. I tripped on the chapman stick that fellow was carrying! What an instrument that is…complete in itself! Very creative stuff with bagpipes, chellos and sax. They were awesome. Sat with LED and co. for a while and then packed off to go smoke up with my chaddi buddies :D.

28th Jan- The day was just meant to find something about the chick scene… it was sad :(. That’s when Cubba called me up saying that his guitar broke and he needed a replacement quickly as he had to perform with LSG, the great prof who’s one of the guys I am looking forward to perform with the next year again! We arranged a guitar and somehow got Cubba back to his normal state at ease :P. We saw the show, as usual ‘twas too good with LSG leading the way! Poor Cubba had a bad day because of his processor cupping maaaajaaaarly, but LSG, a showman that he is, covered it up as well as anyone could have possibly done. Mithun was too good there as usual. Came back went to bikes got drunk and then crashed :D

29th Jan- Mithun calls up asks me to come with him to bindass park in order to check some chicks out. The bloody pary was completely dry, can you imagine! Tough luck mithun hehe, all we could do there was to fag at some corner and then get ourselves some tickets for the show which everyone of us was looking forward to. We finally got a few then went there fully smashed hehe. Parikrama as usual were awesome. I had seen a lot of them when I was in Cal and I was happy to be a part of a show which was more about rock and roll rather than head banging shit! Then came the best part with the awesome band, Led-Zepplica, coming on stage to perform and they did all the songs one could expect of a typical Led-Zep live show. I dunno why but these days I don’t like listening to head banging music as much as alternative or 70’s 80’s R & B or blues or maybe country. But nothing beats metal while playing hence listening to it still remains a very important part. Oh! I almost forgot… this college rocks, it’s faculty rules and the dean’s the best guy around. These bastards actually did this, how can anyone chop off the power supply when a great band is performing on stage and that too the song that every fucking guy in the planet has heard of. Came to know about those who crashed during the show and were waiting for stairway to heaven to come and as soon as they started shouting and cheering, the dean was upto his very best. Felt bad for all of them. The discussion about the arbit fellow continued and the CD’s were now in the hands of their rightful owner and now here I am, sitting and writing all this I have no clue why! Sometimes I don’t know why but I am weird. I mean who would want to do something like this at this hour of this night with the LAN not working. Right now it’s 3:46 AM and I am listening to Steve Vai’s For the Love of God, one of the greatest solos ever! I am not sure if I will be able to attend tomorrow’s class or not, which in reality, hardly makes a difference. Now I need to consolidate and need to come back to the original schedule which is well known to people who know me ( a very small number indeed! Now I am sure of that bit :))

Saarang= Saare+rang, for me it was just HARA rang :D. We broke the fucking jinx! HELL YEAH! Good friends got better, started talking a lot more than what I used to do, more enthusiastic about playing good music and more so playing at the OAT next year!

Behind the scenes, meg and joe are talking to each other…
“he talks a lot about being inquisitive, appreciates reality like never before, he is seeing things differently, has learnt to fight his way out, he is curious about the right things which are not made up and the smile which he never saw on anyone’s face let alone the mirror. I kind of like these changes.”
Joe: “It’s very simple to explain all this, anyways I understand and I know you won’t… Varun is in the groove now! History repeats itself hehe, that might help you understand what I am trying to say here. Goodnight!”

Varun smirks at Joe’s thought. All he has to say is gigitee gigitoo… Quagmire rocks!:P

Goodnight!

The very few moments...

The full profusion of her garden
was oblivious to a six-year-old
whose childhood pastimes
blended out such floral splendour.

I sneaked into her paradise
on clandestine missions
to rescue her trees from the burden
of ripened cherries, apples or pears.

On occasions I was invited to enter
her botanical world to be rewarded
with something sweet and sometimes sticky,
just for being her very own

Her house stands empty now,
her garden in a neglected slumber.
Hedgehogs snuggle in hibernation
‘neath autumn’s decaying leaves
petrified by winter’s first frost.

On the eve of St Stephen
I enter again her garden,
this time in search of that winter wonder.
As if by some invisible conjurer’s trick,
half hidden,
it appears in the entwined, lifeless shoots
of summer’s rambling raspberry bushes,
blanketed in white with last night’s fall of snow.

With a virgin’s shyness
it reveals a captivating beauty.
I smile,
and thank her in silence
for her perennial legacy,

To my meg… Don’t think that I forgot you joe… we will rise

Another one bites the dust

Not having an opinion is cool. It has always worked for me… but being the type I am, suggestions are unexpected and hence result in humiliation. It becomes worse when a good friend does that to you… leaves you speechless... :(

Aaatchooooo..

Everything about life till now has been accidental. Call me pessimistic, call me a sadist whatever, but this is what the truth is… it’s been purely accidental. One good reason is that I have never been sure of what to do next, not that I am not confident of what I am doing, just that I am undecided. Is that because I have not been under the influence of my parents unlike others or is it because of my way of thinking? Undecided factors come into the picture again. Thinking of what has happened till now, I never expected to be in a boarding school first of all and when I ran off from St. Paul’s Darjeeling, I thought I managed to escape…hehe surprise surprise, Dad asks me to be a part of a Calcutta boarding, cool isn’t it? It gets better when I say that I am a resident of Calcutta LOL! Considering other things, lets say getting through the hazards that JEE had to offer… again a perfect example of an accident! I was never game to sit for this dreadful exam in the first place, but I generally appeared for it because dad asked me to do so as he failed :P… surprise surprise, I got through hah! Crap this place is! Bloody every place here in Chennai stinks! The mess here sucks bigtime…pack, the crib list is too big for me to write here. Why isn’t it like those childhood stories, where every accidental incident turns out to be a FAIRYTALE! It turns out to be the best that life had to offer. Coming here led to a decline in interest in science overall because of the wonderful faculty. What else do you want? How can someone expect to lose interest in something that got him a slot there?
    
      Looking at my senior friend here, who did not get a job even after being a stud bigtime just because he did not have the numbers behind him to support him? Contemplating revenge now! People who don’t know a thing about engineering get through with awesome jobs because of the numbers. Bloody idiots. Dumbfucks don’t realize what they are doing and this trend is not new, its been going on for the past N years and still these fools don’t realize a thing or maybe they don’t want to…no one knows a thing about it.
  
      All these questions are defining the very existence of the moment… a plethora of others still trying to find a place or maybe waiting for their turn so that the profane mind can devote some time to them. But the basic question still remains. This is one thing that my conscience keeps on asking me… “Are you sure, this is where you want to be?” still not sure of an answer.
Right now I feel like sleeping on my mom’s lap. Its funny but so true that we tend to go into this foetal position when we are scared or not sure of what to do next or maybe all alone in a room. That is exactly what my posture is now. I am all alone here and I am scared of myself, my conscience which keeps on bombarding me with questions…unanswerable ones because time is the victor and its time which has forced itself upon me and I can’t do a thing about it! Since now, I am sneezing my way to glory because of my extravagant act of roaming around in shorts and t-shirt, I think its showering some mercy! Now it asks me this…

Look around you.
Look down the darkroom,
At the places that you see.
Are you sure, this is where you want to be.

These are your friends.
Are they real friends?
Do they love you as much as me?
Are you sure, this is where you want to be.

You seem in such a hurry,
To lead this kind of life
And you caused so many pain and misery.
But look around you.
Take a good look,
Just between you and me.
Are you sure, this is where you want to be.

Please don’t let my tears persuade you.
I had hoped I wouldn’t cry.
But lately teardrops seem up hard with me.
But look around you.
Take a good look,
Just between you and me.
Are you sure, this is where you want to be…

Weeks before the big one..

A very small world we live in…

Seems untrue, unfortunately, so true! Glad that I did not notice all these things because now as I see them coming one by one, all I can call it is a learning experience. Makes me not take them for granted and hence see my friend making friends with my enemies. What should I think of it now?? Probably that my friend is no longer a friend or maybe my enemy is playing tricks on me. I can’t deprive anyone of their right to communicate and hence making friends and being the ‘not-having-an-opinion-ever types’ helps the cause also. So many things inside me…feels like I will explode someday but then again I was brought up in such a fashion that I could hold in a lot of things inside me [structurally ummm incorrect ;)]. Closer to the truth, but still so far away from reality and eventually facing it….aaha!! What a surprise that was! No wonder, movies will always be movies and that’s why I don’t prefer watching them!! Free your mind…ada thu all cuppers gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict! I love You!! How long I say!! No one knows, but the period is too short to even exist. Neanderthal attitude, kahrect, but still holds as well as ever. Anyways no point… I fear I digress.

According to a very few whom I know, I lead the most peaceful life. Yeah, but why so? Because you don’t have many friends you don’t have much to say for anything that’s happening. You are in the scene and still managed to be out of it in a subtle way and the best part, people don’t know a lot about you and your doings, at the max, all they know is your name… that’s about it. So you can’t have enemies either.

Alright Mr. Preacher you seem to know a lot about me. How say?? Or is it your sixth sense that makes you think of all this about me. Maybe you had visions!! Is it?? Oh my god, too good man. I am one of the unlucky few for whom the movie concept does not work as well (. Not having many friends is a matter of choice, you want many and then crib about it, then go jump in a well and then curse your parents who didn’t even make a futile attempt to make you learn swimming and climbing. Not having much to say…Sorry I am not the blabbermouth category or the ever-so-excited because of the gift of speech. Couldn’t understand what you wanted to say with your third remark but anyways when I do things, I make sure that my superhero network is aware that no one watches me do it. If someone makes the dreadful mistake, something bad results which solely depends on which of the superheroes saw the person… full freedom to my superhero clan, my saviours, the protectors of truth. Hopefully the existence of psychopaths is known to you. One of them is an enemy and also those who managed to survive the superhero assault, because they know the TRUTH!

I love this place. I can rant like a bitch here. Rant my way to glory!! Full of mindlessness, incessant drivel and the scribbling during class hours make their way to this place. A very comfortable way of looking back at things hehe unlike the painful act of searching for the right notebook to find the particular piece of crap I was up to one fine day. Don’t understand why there seem to be a notable number of assholes who don’t write for the pleasure of the act but write for seeing a number right below the post, and the satisfactory criterion depends from person to person. Should be HIGH according to those delusional fools! Why do they create such pages then… go start writing books, big shots! I sincerely hope for the best which is a distant possibility.

According to my standards, this was the so called Ideal Week! I did not bunk a single class, attended all the jamming sessions and enjoyed them, played lots of basketball and was also a part of good quake and counter strike games. Seems like I struck gold! Best part, I wrote notes which were notably much more than I ever wrote in any of the previous semesters. Also managed to understand a lot.

Music?? Yeah cool! I am a part of a band, maybe that’s what you meant when you said “You are in the scene”. Sorry boss, the band is not for glory seekers and hence you might assume that we don’t value such thoughts either. Doing things that we do is very simple, all it needs is the drive and the feel. Can’t be spoon fed… poor you (. Publicizing these things is the last thing I need to do. Now comes the good part. Lately I have been jamming with these people from the navy who supposedly had a band when they were in college with profound influences by ‘The Doors’, ‘David Bowie’ , ‘Louis Armstrong’, ‘Jimmy Hendrix’ basically all about classical rock and rock and roll! My exposure was confined to metal as far as playing was concerned, that’s when I played ‘Gloria’ by ‘The Doors’ with these people. Fortunately I was stoned also then (. For those who think that doors music is trippy, take my word, playing it is a trip of a lifetime!! The changes in the bar length, the subtle but ambient drumming, the shimmering sea like vocals and the talking of Jim Morrison, the defining bass and oh my fucking god, the organ. Feels like I am at a stage where I can commit suicide because I had the experience of a lifetime. Learnt a lot about sound and volume control, making sound patches and other intricacies associated with producing an output which is pleasing to the ear. Looking forward to this experience and can’t wait to be on stage and hear how it sounds. BIG DIFF. I will have fun that’s it!! :D
I loved our first jamming on Gloria where led and I had no clue of what to do…no wonder I called it jamming. Amit started playing and we followed. The subtle solos that led created then were the catch as they made the song ever so full! Thanks man led for the trip! I owe you one, to you too amit… your vocals are too good to be true! Nishant…level stuff man, in this very small period, you are the best drummer I have played with and seen playing, because you have the feel. Oh yes! There’s the catch, it was good because all of us there were the “feel” people! Learn dude learn, its not about the popularity, its about fun and making people happy! Do your job and get out of there

All chunde!

P.S- second thoughts on the suicide thing… no sex till now. :D

“You were my queen and I was your fool…
Riding home after school…
You took me home…to your house
Your father’s at work…
Your mama’s out shopping around…
Take me into your room…
Show me your thing.
Why’d you do it baby?
Get in softer
Slow it down…slow… get it down
Now you show me your thing…
Now why don’t you wrap your lips around my COCK baby!!
Wrap your legs around my neck..
Grab your arms around my knee
Wrap your hair around my skin
I am gonna eat you honey
It’s getting harder, getting faster too now…
It’s getting too damn fast
You’re gonna wiggle around too much
I am gonna rip you in two
Come on now just get it on

Imagine this with some cymbalish drumming along with the bass which goes like E-E-B D-D-A and the vocals with the talking, you might understand the trip I was talking about :D

Simple and SEXY is what I call it. Call it whatever you want…no one cares just have fun!

Baying for Blood

The victim did not feel too hungry that day. He decided to skip his regular eating joint, and went to a store jus a few yards away.

The hunter had set sight on him even as he walked into the store. A gleam of malevolence flickered in the hunter's eyes. He hadn't forgotten the torture he'd underwent almost a year back. He decided to wait, before he went in for the kill. He noticed the victim ordering a cool drink. "Some fattening up won't hurt", he thought to himself.

But the victim seemed to be taking an awfully long time to finish his drink. Frustrated, the hunter lost patience and moved in with the agility of a predator.

"Dei, first year-a?"

The victim turned around, raised his eyebrow and mouthed "Third year".

The hunter felt his heart drop to his stomach. "A.. A.. Anna, sorry nna! Didn't know!", he said white-faced and feeling completely embarrassed.

The victim only smiled.

Behind the scenes:
Thought I'd skip lunch that day and went to the campus store instead. There were a coupla second years hissing "you think he's a fresher?". One of them mustered enough courage to ask me if I was. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face when he realised he'd come so close to trying to rag a senior! :) Nor the look of embarrassment on his face when I said, "Mech, right? Chill.. free-a vidu" as I went back to class.

Further behind the scenes. So far behind, it's actually in the victim's mind:
Damn!! Do I look like a first year? :(

A New Beginning

Realize that…

The message for the New Year is JUST BE. Relax and just be. That doesn’t mean be lazy, no. Be very busy…and just be. Events come and go, they perish like flowers. But every event and every person contains some honey. Like a bee, just take the honey out of every moment and move on. Be like a busy bee and be in the Being.

    BAN COMMUNISM!!!
These people despise private property and idealise commonly held property. But I’ll bet Pitt and Jolie don’t share a toothbrush. So I would like to conduct a “reduction” thought experiment as to what would happen in a city if private property were abolished and all property declared to be in common. Well, the first thing that would happen is that everyone would stop working. If someone needed something he would simply go to the house or shop where the object of his desire was located and demand it in the name of communist brotherhood. Within a few days of establishment of the communist fraternity, all shops would be stripped bare, as would be all the mansions of the rich. All economic activity would come to a standstill. The redistribution of all property in the name of communism would lead to the “leveling down” of all the members of the commune. Further, instead of polite civilization that existed previously, bound by the “natural law” of private property rights, the commies would soon descend to barbarianism—snatch, grab, loot, scoot.

  Safety and Security

May I become at all times,
Both now and for ever,
A protector for the helpless,
A guide for the lost ones,
A ship for those to cross oceans,
And a bridge to cross rivers,
A sanctuary for those in danger,
A lamp for those in darkness,
A refuge for those who need shelter,
A servant to all in need.

(Our prayer for protection…used to make a lot of fun of it. But I realize how important it is when I am high. What a drag… being aware sometimes doesn’t help as much as you expect it to)

Observing markets easily reveals the natural law of property at work. When a fisherman returns from the sea, no one forcibly takes fish away from him because the ocean has not furnished him with a title deed to his catch. No one snatches fruits from any of the millions of fruit vendors. Look at any big market and you will see thousands engaging in the great game of trade, respecting private property rights. If this natural law was overthrown, man would be reduced to the status of ape. Indian commies do not practice what they preach to the level od the above ‘reductio and absurdum’. This mother fucking thing should be banned!!!

May the Divine Mother who is the source of my life and strength,
May she surround me with Her wise protection,
May I look to her for all things,
And never lose hold on Her Diving Hand
May the veil of selfishness never blind my eyes to her glory;
May my heart never be closed to her all-filling love….

Thanks mom…I love you. The things you told me a fortnight ago are still bouncing and are creating a huge effect on my mind… I sincerely believe you will see a son who’s more responsible and even more caring than ever before.
Cheers!!