Perils of the freshie invasion

This has been the most lame of all the first weeks I have had in college. No music, no gaming at the levels, which I have been used to, and to add to that I have frustration as my best friend as I am still to register myself for the semester. BAH! Too much of a responsibility on us jobless ones. Taking that last post as a warm up exercise for some mindless drivel, I can very well imagine what is in store for me for the rest of the sem. ULTRA BULL CRAP! Sets up the tone doesn't it?Therefore, I thought I might try a hand at ragging and believe me when I say this… I have not ragged a single freshie till date. Summer was ok types apart from the fact that I saw all the WC matches and the big ones on a big screen at HHI with old friends and lots of beer. Did I say CRV by any chance? Man…what a drive! Dad showered some mercy by handing me the keys at the right times. Put the overdrive on, on a flyover and omg what a feeling! Sans reality, I say.

Everyone has been discussing about opiates like codeine, heroin etc, a topic, which doesn’t interest me at all. The schizophrenic hallucinations associated with them are enough to cause consternation. They might call it the ultimate feeling, but very frankly, I am scared to say the least. Which is why I can call it schizophrenic, a term that cannot be associated with it at all. This is all due to a very bad experience with magic mushrooms last summer when I was in Michigan where these idiots played a bad trick of putting some inside a burger. Morons…I started hallucinating. I found myself in a cave with polar bears and all. MUMMY! *shudders*The down trip was also very painful and it was, very frankly, an event, which scared the living daylights out of me for any further psilocybin or the next level of opiates. At the same time, those who are stuck up with this, only they can help themselves. Mormons are there everywhere but then who am I to go on preaching around. But what the hell? I am digressing excessively.

So it goes like this. Good boy Blunt gets up very early on a fine Friday morning, puts his running shoes on and is about to go for jogging when it suddenly strikes him that he forgot to brush his teeth. So he brushes his teeth and happily starts off for his room. “I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise” is what he told himself when he saw some stranger in his room who was flirting with the beloved acoustic bass. His countenance, in plain and simple words, was like that of a monkey who was left free to unleash the beast inside him. His sharp, pointing, and protruding ears helped the cause. Therefore, it was decided that this stranger needed to be informed that it was not his room, so he could not fiddle around with the stuff, which is kept inside, especially the bass. I mean, what the fuck man! How can someone generally enter a room in the first place and that too when it is latched outside? So Blunt enters the room and is about to inform the guy about certain facts, before which he is bombarded by a set of questions, the funniest of the lot being “Who are you and where were you da?”.

Blunt wanted to say “I’m fucking Lou…who the fuck are you?”. Instead, he informed him of the fact that he was in perilous territory and anything could happen. That is when the heart breaking cannon ball landed. He looked at me from top to bottom as if he were ‘analyzing’ to say the least, a chick. Bah! He was very confident when he said this… “How can you possibly relate yourself to perilous territory?” I was angry now and before I could actually unleash the beast, the fellow very matter-of-factly asked, “Is this your room?” and before I could manage to open my mouth he says, “Hey before that, do you mind telling me which course is this (pointing towards ID110)? I had to now, it was a now or never situation. So, I went inside the room sat on the bed an asked him whether I looked like a freshie? He was smirking. Can you even believe the audacity with which he was treating a final year student! Again very matter-of-factly, he said “Hehe obviously man…which branch are you in?” I asked him if he was allotted a single room or something to which he again said yes!!! I could not believe it. How can these first year dweebs be allotted single rooms? As freshies all of us supposed to be tykes and a triple sharing room is allotted so that we can morally support each other and all. However, looking at this monkey, it could very easily be inferred that he not at all a tyke. Maybe when he comes to know that I am in my Final year, he might come and apologize after being ragged the other seniors in the hostel. Yeah right, high hopes without doubts. I should have shoved him there itself. However,much to my chagrin, I could not do much as I had to leave for a presentation. Yet again I will become the laughing stock of them wingmates who tend to pounce on the silliest of the news. Sacrilege! Utter and complete. Embarrassing as it will be, it can be compared to something which was like this "Go get a real girl whose name doesn't end with .jpg" LOL. Reason enough for beer and celebration as stewie would point out... if not then you can as well go porrrk yourself. Did I hear someone asking what is porrrk? Oh..It's nothing but another one of them thought provoking words thought of by the ostensibly hardworking anand. It's easy, just an acronym; Pitch Forrrk! Extreme fart!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee