why

The kid died. He left behind memories and plans, lovely ones. The ever smiling face was like a lantern in the darkness of the capitalist regime created by the autocratic government here. His body parts were separated and they stitched it all up into a mass which was half the original size. The mother was completely shattered, the father stood tall amidst the run of events but poor li'l brother. He was not even aware of what was happening till these tyrants who had to show him the body took him to the PM chamber.

These martyrs have done their jobs, efficiently and tirelessly and they have set an example for us lucky fools who are still a part of this organisation which treats human life like excreta. If work pressure and overloading did not deter their stance, the pursuit for money killed these two brilliant young and beautiful minds. The capitalists and their cronies in their pursuit for green have painted the walls of justice with the same colour and now these fuckers will still carry out the same old marathon without people having vacant hints of what goes on inside this pool of tyranny.

For Akshay Bhandari, a great collegue and a brilliant manager, and for Nitin Singh, my partner, the kind hearted, ever smiling , pure guy who could not even kill an insect, I pray. May their souls rest in peace and their families get strength to carry on for the rest of their lives.

Simplicity

The word itself says a lot of things that one can only think of and imagine the utopic world of his dreams. Pleasure in doing things for the sake of enjoying it to the maximum extent possible and not showing bestial sign of prosaic mortals who would do anything for achievement. Achievement is what everyone desires rather than enjoying the process. The result counts, often, but the beauty of the process of achieving that goal can make things anything but mundane. There are plenty of distractions in the form of bottlenecks or the people around who are result oriented. All they are, is a convenient excuse for those people who just find the idea cool to propagandize in order to achieve some other thing and hence they too are result oriented. This is not asking you to NOT be result oriented, rather, strengthening your path towards the result by making the process more compact and the result a mere consequence of the hard work and compact process control. Digressing for a moment here, when will I get over the ethereal music of Pink Floyd and getting over all those judiciously selected notes of David Gilmour. The simplicity again of the music of the greatest band ever is again the case at hand. The sincere devotion with which they made their music deserves nothing less than a silent moment of thought in your ever so precious life where you apparently dont find time to do mundane things like listening to music because you are so absorbed in other aspects which demand more attention that taking a break to listen to one beautiful solo of high hopes or maybe the fundamentally kicking chord selection of dogs or maybe even the riff of vague time sequence, 7/8 to be precise, of money. Attention to such simple details can make life far more simpler. Glad that I was unconsciously concentrating on the right aspects. Coming back, I support the argument of thales here when he said, everything is water, he raised the most beautiful and most fundamental aspect of simplicity here. Looking at the argument objectively, we can definitely raise questions but that part is only left to those who are still finding answers for the objectivity associated things. Not condescending, just a passing phase. Phidias said something similar to god watching his sculptures when asked why was the back as ornamented as the front. These are results of dedication and simplicity. Overindulging and thinking about others and making others a point of discussion which would otherwise result in brilliant observation would lead to nothing but a feeling of pride which is fake and it is known to the pride holder. It can easily seen from the fact that great people discuss ideas but common people discuss people. They cant rise above the level at which they are trying hard to stick. Again not condescending, but a passing phase where they'll find answers and question the very fact and futility in discussing people. Heretic as I am called sometimes because of such words. Idiosyncratic too sometimes. Weird as I might seem, I can clearly call the counterpart lucky because he/she was a part of a conversation which was started by him/her and it went way beyond his levels of answering his/her own mind and the questions it has on offer. Religion, the topic where it mostly comes down to, is nothing but a propagated idea which invokes fear in the minds, for it seeks not solace, but shelter in its presence. Spirituality on the other hands leads to solace of the mind and one can seek shelter also in the joyous state that is offer.
More later...time for another simple form of joy, food :)

Say no to X and yes to Y

Lately, its been all about making decisions and taking stern steps in order to change to order of things and its not been a fairytale to say the least. Glad though that I am not 'fucked up' as I assumed I was because what I saw during the weekend was the fest of them 'fucked up' people. Man...isn't the world going mad? I am cutting myself off this asylum now. Don't dare call me a friend if you do not want to respect me and neither call me a friend for you want to vent your frustration only because I have a good ear. Don't keep jabbing me with that sarcasm and relating peace to politically correct capitalistic strategies because our generation is not tired of war for we never got a chance to wage one. I still love you people but I somehow sense that its not what you people want. Always tried my best to help you all in dire times, gave it my best shot but what I got in return is something which is totally not acceptable. Not that I want anything but just that fact that it was not called for and not expected. I am still the same old dude who never has an opinion about people and their lives for the lives of others has never bothered me. By the way Megadeth was cool and Mr. Mustaine as usual kicked butt of all the posers wearing black t-shirts. Dont ask me the names of the bands, might turn out to be a big fuck fest of all the insane fans. Not called for man totally not. Was I actually looking like a golfer? I mean I was wearing a pleasant green shirt and a cap. Actually, looking back, I was looking like one indeed. Fair observation I must say. Felt good to see you after a long time and felt even better because you were not fucked up.
Quoting respectmon Dave Mustaine,
Let me introduce myself, I'm a social disease.
And so I am. Prolly gonna cut myself out bigtime and I swear, the conversations henceforth will only be with family (the ones I like ofcourse) and 2 more people. I don't want people falling in the aformentioned category of the 'fucked up' to contact me. Seriously man, I might be forced to be cruel this time if I hear shit.
Thanks again for all the good times people. I am still the same dontcha worry. It's just that you have changed and this time, the change has not been accepted. Have a great life and wish you people all the success in the world.
With love

Back?

You can almost say that he's back. Things are big but not as attractive as they were before and all he has on offer now is talks on a basketball tournament, guitars, compressors, pumps, turbines etc, politics in pakistan and the states. Mother fuckers all of them. Right now off to watch a match to discuss more strats on the big one tomorrow. Till then adios.

Lost Cause

Today, was the day of reckoning. Yes, the outcome of the long drawn battle between the mind and the body, the inner and the outer, the professional and the personal was announced. Who lost ultimately? 'Twas me...yeah the renegade was defeated by the system. Goodbye blogger...

P.S - the only lesson I learnt is that I cannot count on anyone...yes anyfuckingone.

End of Another Chapter

The metalhead has these songs on his winamp playlist currently
1. There She Goes - The La's
2. Last Kiss - Pearl Jam
3. Bird on a wire - Leonard Cohen
4. The News - Leonard Cohen
5. Leif Erikson - Interpol
6. Kickin' the Heart Out - Rogue Wave
7. Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
8. KK - Pal
9. Rocky Raccoon - The Beatles
10. Canon in D major - Johann Pachelbel
11. Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
12. Ordinary World - Duran Duran
13. Mamma - Rata Blanca
14. We are One Tonight - Switchfoot
15. Nothing as it seems - Pearl Jam
16. Leaving on a Jet Plane - John Denver
17. Champagne Supernova - Oasis

He has a Ying Yang, a die, an R and a certain someone facing the alter ego with clumsy hair on his right shoulder. He defrags instead of fragging! Has a t-shirt which says 'I'm Feeling Lucky and I'm armed with condoms'. A headless phoenix on his back. Memories in his fucked up head and complete withdrawal symptoms in his every act which includes walking alone around the institute from 0100 hrs to 0400 hrs after getting drunk. How could they sing pal inside a call taxi?

Ahem...something's fishy. Anyway, the after-effect will take its toll for another week and the getting-over bit shall mature by then. I swear I wont pull a 'before sunset'.

They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone
But for what we've become, we just feel more alone
Always weigh what I've got against what I left
So progress report: I am missing you to death

XOXOX
Less than three :-)

Trip

Lab, auto, long beach, taxi, bus, Bangalore, marijuana, 300, alcohol, marijuana, crash, 4:30 am, alcohol, marijuana, call, sid, maiden show, VPN (suck), Parikrama <3, st="on">Scotland, weeds (blah!), Ibanez GSR200, Speed kills, Pachelbel’s canon, Stu Hamm, still tripmax, marijuana, pizza, alcohol, Hattrick???(wtf?), hair pulling, clapping, interval woes, marijuana, crash, 4 am, The Naked Mile (thu!), Better by the dozen, listening to celebrity, meeting a celebrity, blue spice, vodka with lime cordial, back, marijuana, stoned, Indian Batting till 45 overs, bus, 5:21 am Chennai, 8 am class, lab at 1 and back just now to write all this.

Characters:

Gapa, Dumbo, Aastha, Lala, Naan, Masti, Macha, Banner, celebrity, sid. I was NOT there. Yeah, the ignorant dumbfuck who does not have to try hard to be what he is.

Loved:

The welcome break, silence, the fact that no one bothered, my rejuvenated obliviousness, Kuntrymax in the theatre,Styx, MAIDEN!!

Hated:

Posers during the show, susceptibility, the fact that I got used, my juvenility (not exactly but yeah kind of), not visiting masi’s place.

Moral:

WTF? STFU and Pooooorrrk, which means crab people, will always be crab

Fleee

Rant

Changes in human nature due to circumstances are so awesomely aweful! People never bother to even look back at what they were in order to be what they are. Being what you are is good, but you actually were someone else and now what is being done is that you are making futile attempts at redeeming yourself to another level, which is so unacceptable. I mean eh? I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise! I see you today as something and tomorrow as someone else just like watching two Brad Pitt movies in a day. Sounds really funny but it gets on my nerves. Inborn characteristics are taken for a hike! OMG! Where are the ethics and principles? Aaaah why am I even thinking of all this when I know it is the upbringing, which matters in such cases. All they hear is otiose after otiose and hence harbor such ideas. These kind of things are the harbinger to produce the kind of person you are. Zero ethics, no moral values, everything is fair, crap is good, utter bullshit I say! Anyway, it’s up to the levels of settling down for mediocrity. One should actually pity this class. Me? Yeah I do pity them a lot, but then again I wonder why? Why should I pity for them? Who am I? The Godfather of the lot or what?

   This forces me to think whether it is the right way or not? Because the real you, if it comes out, then it is never accepted by the society and people around you. Why? No good reason behind that either. Scarcity of concrete reasoning is another one of the reasons why this issue is never raised. Running away from the truth is like fashion! Learning from mistakes and then changing some parts of you is very much acceptable because it is the way life is meant to be, but changing yourself overnight for no reason whatsoever is like “hmm…so I would love to be Sobhraj today, but no it would be better if I were Osama.” B-A-H! Clamorous shouting for this change catalyses the process further and then comes the best part. You are loved by a group of people for being someone you are not. Bunch of fools and their cronies. IDIOTS! Only to satisfy others huh? Never even bother about your own conscience and yeah die with your boots on, with a gazillion people attending your funeral and lamenting the loss of the guy who was so good and happy go lucky etc. But you will know that you were the worst victim of the disease so known as bipolar disorder. Don’t look at it in a stern way will you. Yeah I agree truth as straight as this comes like a cut throat shotgun shell. But I must say, if there is something the “you” kind deserve…it’s this. I read this somewhere and I am glad I can repeat this. You’ve whored your soul to the devil.

Negatives

Not a bead glistens my eyelashes when I am in intractable trauma,
But can’t stop my surging tears at higher r_gamma;
Am I weird?
I crave and miss my loved ones, whom I cannot see,
Is it because they are no longer there for ME?
Am I selfish?
I wish to pull the moon and wrap it around,
I long to get hold of Aladdin’s magic lamp to fulfill my wishes unbound;
Am I immature?
Death scares me, Rejection scoffs at me, Expectations tense me, Luck has forbidden me
The fear of losing my kith and kin terrifies me;
Am I a coward?
Am I weird, selfish, immature and a coward?
So many negatives huddled in a pod,
Am I a pessimist?

Murder most faux

Ok you fellows. We cops really have to do something about this Jessica Lal case, what with everyone starting from Soniaji downwards getting pissed off with us and going around saying we don’t know how to do our job, despite all that ‘With you, for you – ALWAYS’  funda. So let’s start from scratch. When investigating a crime, what’s the first thing to be established? Yes, you in the last row with your hand up. What’s that? You put your hand up not because you know the answer to the question I asked but because you want to go to the loo? All right, then. Off you go and don’t forget to wash your hands before coming back. Now, since no one seems to know the answer to the question I asked, I’ll answer the question myself. The first thing a cop does when investigating a crime is to establish that a crime has infact been committed to begin with. And in the Jessica Lal case we know for sure that a crime was committed. Namely, that premises not licensed by the relevant authorities to serve alcohol were in fact doing so, in clear contradiction of the Excise Act of 1927, Subsection 3 , Para 2.

       Fine, now that we’ve established that a crime was committed (i.e serving of unlicensed booze) lets get on to the dubious allegation that a firearm was discharged in the said premises. This is a very dubious allegation indeed as no firearm has been recovered, either from the scene of the crime or anywhere else. To compound matters, there is some suspicion that there was not just one but two unrecovered firearms. Which makes matters doubly suspicious. Practically a whole arsenal gone missing. The two-firearm theory also suggests the of possibility of there having been not one but two different shooters, one called Manu and the other called Sharma. Now where does all this two-of-everything line of argument logically lead? Simple. It proves conclusively that everyone present was blotto on unlicensed booze and was seeing double. If further proof were needed that a crime had been committed (the consumption of unauthorized grog) it is supplied by the two-gun, two-shooter hallucination. It’s a wonder no eyewitness swore seeing a tangoing twosome of pink elephants.

      Next we come to the question of witnesses turning hostile. And the question is: Wouldn’t you turn hostile if for sever years you have to keep on repeating the same old routine, all the while nursing a mother of a hangover from all the unlicensed bingeing, courtesy Bina and what’s the young brat’s name? ‘Course we need a witness protection programme. Witnesses need to be protected from all those snoopy investigators, prosecutors, and judges asking them more tricky questions that you get in one of those Board exams that are forever traumatizing kids. It’s not fair. They should form a trade union, witnesses should. Witnesses of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your testimony.

    Yes, all in all, it’s high time we reopened the Jessica Lal case. Poor girl. So tragic. The first case of terminal conjunctivitis in the whole history of medicine, and so young too. AIIMS should carry out a thorough investigation, never mind all this bird flu nonsense. Ah, our friend from the last row has come hotfooting back from the loo. And he’s got his hand raised again? But he’s just been to the loo. Hope he’s not sickening from something.

   What’s that? He’s saying he’s got his hand up this time not because he wants to go to the loo but because he’s just heard that another victim has been discovered at the scene of crime? This one is also a female, of indeterminate age, wearing long robes, a blindfold over her eyes and holding a sword in one hand a pair of weighing scales in the other. Wonder who on earth she could be, and what she died of. Guess we’ll never know…